A New Day...

Here it is, another day another blog. Yesterday was a good food and workout day. However, I did not get a chance to do any Yoga. I REALLY REALLY just need to force myself to make the time. 
Eating first thing in the morning seemed to up my metabolism and I seemed to be hungry more often throughout the day. This could be very bad, but I made it a point to eat lots of veggies and some good proteins and I think I did pretty well. What seems to help me is not having junk food in my pantry. So if I have a hankering for something crunchy I make popcorn, ya know, the old fashioned kind. Corn kernels on the stove with some olive oil, no butter added. Or I'll grab some walnuts, non salted, not candied, just naked walnuts. The walnut snack actually will kill the hunger with just a few so I usually gravitate toward those. If I'm looking for something sweet I will mix craisens in with the nuts. 
So today, I will attempt something I haven't done for years and is very difficult for me. I plan to jump rope out on my deck. This is a HUGE milestone for me. Not the jumping rope part, it's the outside on the deck part. See, many years ago when I was an instructor I LOVED working out with people and as an instructor they were watching me as I lead them all through the workout. I absolutely loved instructing and being part of a person's life change. As an instructor, that's what it's about. People who come to you have made themselves vulnerable to you so you can help them change their health for the better. It's really kinda emotional and that is the main reason I loved to teach and train. I could see the difference in a person's life and I was honored and privileged to be allowed into that part of their life. 
So, what does that have to do with me working out outside? I'm ashamed of the way I look and how weak and unsteady I am. Yup, it goes right back to that again. The disappointment. I have my little 'workout cave' in the basement of my house and no one....I mean NO ONE is allowed to even be downstairs when I'm working out...not even the dogs. I don't want to be talked to, looked at and most certainly...don't friggin watch me unless you plan on shortening your life. And this is how far I have gone from what I used to be. Now, I have known this about myself for a while, but for some reason typing out in this blog has given it more of a tangableness (I know that's not a word, but go with it for me). Because of how sad this sounds, I am going to to it today. I'm going to get my jump rope and put on my sneakers and jump outside on my deck. I'm not going to focus on how bad my fat looks bouncing around. I will do what's best for my health today and it won't matter who watches. 
I'll let you all know how it goes for me!
Have a great day!
ox~N